TOW #6- How not to say the wrong thing

  An opinion piece from the Los Angles Times, clinical physiologist Susan Silk tells readers about an interpersonal strategy referred to the 'Ring Theory' of kvetching.  It is meant to work in all kinds of crises- with the idea that by following the rule, people can react to other hardship in socially appropriate.  The 'ring theory' is based on the idea of comforting those who are most directly affected by a problem, and 'dumping out', or complaining to those who are even less affected then you by the event. To demonstrate this idea, Silk uses detailed instructions to show the principle. Using her close friend Kate as an example, she carefully explains the reader the process of creating the ring. “Draw a circle. This is the center ring. In it, put the name of the person at the center of the current trauma. For Katie's aneurysm, that's Katie. Now draw a larger circle around the first one. In that ring put the name of the person next closest to the trauma. In the case of Katie's aneurysm, that was Katie's husband, Pat. Repeat the process as many times as you need to.”  By providing these instructions, she helps the audience understand how to put the theory into everyday use.
Silk also uses anecdotes to provide examples of when people disregard the theory. Again, using her friend Katie as an example, she says, “She was in intensive care for a long time and finally got out and into a step-down unit. She was no longer covered with tubes and lines and monitors, but she was still in rough shape. A friend came and saw her and then stepped into the hall with Katie's husband, Pat. "I wasn't prepared for this," she told him. "I don't know if I can handle it." As a result of failing to follow Silk’s rule, the coworker looks inconsiderate and extremely self-centered. Through the use of these stories, the reader is able to see what happens when the rule isn’t followed, which further adds credibly to Silks claim of the validity of the idea.